THE HONEY-DO LIST by Dennis Conrad

Early this morning my wife said, “Hallelujah! Your big presentation is over.”

My wife, Diane, postponed interrupting me while I was working on a major class assignment. What had happened while I was immersed in the process of prewriting, drafting, and preparing a final publishable document stunned me. She created a huge roster of additions to my ever-present honey-do list. The list hangs over my head like a guillotine.

In a few days, it grew to over 127 items. I was in shock. How could all of these things have piled up? Was it a case of deferred maintenance?  Is it possible I had been asleep for forty years only to awake to an avalanche of things to do? Is it really my turn to clean out the bottom of the trash cans, wash down the side of the house, and steam clean the undercarriages of the cars? How did all these infrequent assignments come together in one perfect storm of duties when I have a higher calling?

The higher calling I am referring to is the call to write. Be it typing or writing something out by hand, my goal is to create something out of thin air. That should be enough to erase the list. Is there some way to get the 127 items to vaporize? Unfortunately, I think not.

The day of reckoning had come. I set my goal high. Write for five minutes. Take out the trash. Write for five minutes. Clean the cat-litter boxes. Write for five minutes. Make the bed. Write for five minutes. Turn on the dishwasher. Hey, wait a minute.

I’ll do some creative writing of my own. I’ll copy this mammoth list onto my wife’s honey-do list. Maybe all my troubles have been solved. Writing is indeed my calling, and therefore, I should be exempt from all other assigned duties.

In this case, the thought of writing postponed the inevitable if for only a few moments. What a respite. Five minutes are up, and it is time to get to work. Trash cans, here I come.